Me (left) and my sister (right) being little and happy
I reminisce about my childhood all the time. As you probably gathered from this post, I'm currently finding the transition into 'grown-up-hood' a tad difficult. As much as I love the freedom and independence being older has given me, there are days when I just wish I could revert back to being a little kid again.
I don't like to brag, but I honestly believe I had an amazing childhood. My childhood was definitely the happiest time of my life (thus far). I was always such a happy-go-lucky kid - from being a little toddler eating Milky Bar Buttons in my dungarees, to a few years later, staring up at my 'happy place' (the castle in Disneyland) on my 4th birthday, to simple things like chasing my cats around the house, collecting Lion King magazines and watching 'Hook' on sick days with buttery toast and a duvet on the sofa.
Whenever I look back on my childhood, it's always the simple things I remember. Why? Because everything was simpler back then. I literally have no recollection of anything complex, anything negative - just a load of happy memories of me and my sister giggling in the garden, playing dress-up and singing The Spice Girls. Every day was an adventure, and every night ended with me being tucked up in bed, safe and sound. I didn't worry about what tomorrow would bring, I didn't feel frightened about what the future would hold. I was going to become a vet, a writer or an artist, and so that was that. I didn't have to worry about making big decisions - the biggest decisions I would face would be things like which Disney video to watch, or which toy to take to playgroup. Life was easy. And I revelled in it.
Needless to say, now things are different. Me and my overactive, over-thinking mind mean that I worry a lot, I obsess over the future and I rarely feel as 'free' as I did as a child. We live in a society obsessed with technology and social media, and I definitely think that has a part to play in our generation's depression. When I was little I couldn't care less what the girl down the road was doing, or if she had a better toy than me - I was happy with what I had, and it was as simple as that. Now we are always striving to do better than the 'other' person, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but when jealousy comes into play everyone ends up losing out. I get frightened about the fact I have to survive on my own two feet now - as we get older the 'little things' stop mattering so much, and we begin to be overcome with fears about bills, mortgages and rent payments. I'm aware my mum and dad probably had all these things to compete against, but as a child I was never once made aware of it. I'm very thankful for that.
Sometimes I think it's healthy to try and go back to the childlike way of thinking. I think it's good to have days when you purposely 'forget' about all the stresses and strains of life, and just exist freely. When I went to the Lake District (see my post here) a while ago I felt like that, and I'm going to make a conscious effort to do more things that make me forget my problems and instead just enjoy the thrill of the adventure. Simple things like ditching my phone and taking a walk in the park with my boyfriend, buying an ice cream and soaking up the sun. Having a duvet day and building a den with fairy lights, watching Disney films until our eyes can no longer stay open. Blowing up the paddling pool in the garden and pretending to be a mermaid for the day. Baking a rainbow cake, licking the bowl clean and not worrying about how much mess it'll make. No matter how old you are, I think taking on the 'carefree' mindset of a child is sometimes the best thing you can do to keep yourself going. I want to try and devote my weekends to doing things like this, to take a break from 'real life' and just enjoy the little things in life.
Do you miss being little? Let me know if you have/are planning on having days where nothing else but having fun matters.