Okay... so I've been sitting here for a good ten minutes, staring at the screen and wondering what to write. First of all, I should probably apologise for being absent on my blog for the past month. I feel like I'm beginning to sound like a broken record when I say this, but I've been finding it really hard to blog lately. Aside from being incredibly busy with work, Christmas coming up and just generally life getting in the way, I haven't really felt inspired to blog at all. There are so many things I want to blog about, but when it comes to sitting down at my computer and putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) I've found it almost impossible.
I'm a perfectionist, and whilst I've debated churning out half-arsed blog posts on here to keep the content consistent, I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Part of me feels like there just aren't enough hours in the day to put in the effort I want into my blog, and then another part just thinks I'll never be able to complete with the hundreds (probably thousands) of blogs out there now.
I've been blogging since February 2010, and since then it's been a whirlwind of opportunities and achievements, and I'm so proud of that. But for the past year or so, my love affair with blogging has been turning a bit stale and I find that I'm not reading blogs anymore, through the fear of being left feeling unhappy about myself - from jealousy over my blog not being as good as theirs, to feeling down about how the way I look. This recent post by Hannah Gale (a blogger I totally love, whose blog always makes me feel up instead of down) really resonated with me, and inspired me to get back into the swing of things, and to stop trying to compete with all the other blogs around me.
It's so true that blogs have turned into glossy, unrealistic images of perfection that leave me (and I'm sure lots of you too) with the same hollow feeling reading fashion magazines used to years ago, when I was consumed by them. But that shouldn't be what blogging is about, and I feel like that is something I have, and will always, stand by. I don't want people to come to my blog and leave feeling sad, like they'll never be able to have the things I do. I want them to feel inspired, empowered, and happy. Whether that's from a review of a beauty product that has turned my makeup routine upside down, an honest-to-blog deep and meaningful post about life that has resonated with them, a quick and easy cupcake recipe that they need to try, or an outfit post on my current favourite 'sling on and go' sweater.... whatever it is, I want it to make my readers feel happy, positive and inspired.
So, as hard as it is, I'm going to try and stop comparing myself to others. No, I don't have the perfect figure, the perfect lifestyle, or the perfect home, but I am so grateful for the things I do have and I'm determined not to forget that.
I'm not making promises, because I know I'll only set myself up to fail, but I'm going to try and get back to blogging. I won't let myself throw something I'm so proud of away because of what other people are doing. So, expect to see a lot more of me here from now on in!